In today’s culture, technology (and especially phones) are an ever present part of our lives. While this has made our lives easier in many ways, it has also started to create some notable rifts in our relationships. Families can be found sitting on the couch playing games on their phones instead of playing games with each other. Kids turn to social media for a sounding board and advice instead of reaching out to family. And partners in romantic relationships feel distant and ignored when compared to a phone. While such a small device has the power to bring us closer together, we need to be very careful to make sure it doesn’t tear us apart.
5 WAYS TO LOVE YOUR PARTNER MORE THAN YOUR PHONE
1. When your partner seeks your attention, give it fully to them. This isn’t to say that every time they speak, you have to put your phone down. It’s possible to be engaged with your phone and have some small talk with your partner. However, in most cases when your partner makes a bid for your attention, they need to know and see that they will fully get it. More often than not, put your phone down and you look your partner in the eye when they speak to you.
2. Create times in which your phone is off limits. While your partner should be able to get your attention whenever they want, they should know they will have your attention at certain times. Mealtimes, bedtimes, certain events, or specific times are all options where you could both agree that phones will not be present. By intentionally making phones off-limits, you will learn to communicate more.
3. Give your spouse full access to your phone. Nothing should be off-limits to your partner. They should have full access to everything on your phone. One of the greatest warning signs of potential adultery is hidden passwords or areas on our phone where our partner isn’t allowed. Choose full transparency with one another. Don’t check-up on your partner, but do occasionally pick up their phone in order to remind yourself they are being honest and faithful.
4. Never communicate anything negative to your partner via text. Phones can be a tremendous asset to couples especially in the hectic years of career and family. A wise couple uses phones to stay connected, communicate quickly, and build their relationship. The ease of texting and messaging should always be used for good. Save the tough conversations for face-to-face interactions where you can see expressions, read body language, and hear tone.
5. Openly discuss the use of technology without defensiveness. Listen. If your partner feels you are too dependent on your phone, consider their point. Make changes. While fair expectations should be set, some partners will desire less phone use than others. Hear what your partner desires and do your best to adjust your use. Like everything in relationships, technology use must be discussed and negotiated. It’s not one conversation. It’s a continuous conversation over the years.
Paraphrased from Kevin Thompson