It’s probably common sense to say that children are watching what their parents do, and whatever behaviors their parents have are what will be “normal” to them.

But have we really thought about what our relationships, romantic and otherwise, are demonstrating to our children?

Every single relationship we have is a model to our children about what that relationship should look like. We teach our children how to talk to our friends, how to interact with our families, and what it looks like to be in a romantic relationship with someone. (Even in the case of parents who are separated, how we treat the other parent is a demonstration of how we think parents should be treated!) 

As parents, we often rely heavily on teaching our children verbally. We tell them what to do or not to do, when to do it, how to do it, etc. Sometimes the age-old saying  “Do as I say, not as I do” slips out of our mouths. But children learn better and more by modeling our behavior, so it’s especially important to show them what love looks like.

Our relationships teach our children how to show affection, how to spend quality time together, how to share responsibilities, and even how to fight. They will grow up and their expectations will be a mirror to what they observed in their youth. If we want our sons and daughters, nieces and nephews, and godchildren to have healthy families as adults we have to show them what that looks like now.

In all things in life, we should lead by example.But we definitely need to love by example! What are your children learning from you?